Bu(r)ddy scare

I am back at home after an awesome vacation and there is just one thing I dread. I head straight to the balcony and take a deep breath. They were HERE!!! They stayed all night, even during the day at times and now that they are gone there is just shit all over the place…literally. At the cost of sounding heartless I would like to declare “I HATE THE PIGEONS IN MY BALCONY!!!” These do not include the ones captured and displayed for public affection in a zoo or circus. Or the ones that are set free as part of some “peace” meeting or even the ones that just fly around anywhere else.

Come to think of it this is all really my fault. When I first saw them sitting on the balcony I was as excited as a 3yr old would be to see them so close. Ok it’s not like I have never seen birds and this is my first encounter. But in a way it felt nice that a small little part of my home makes them feel at home. I did not want to disturb that (mistake number 1). Where would the poor souls go if I shooed them away every five minutes (mistake number 2). I kept a few grains on the window sill and a little water dish as encouragement for them to come and stay at my house (mistake no 3). At times I would just watch them from my room and try and guess what they are thinking. There are about 4-5 in total and I think I can actually tell one from another!!! The friendship grew by leaps and bounds, so to say. They stopped flying away even when I entered the balcony. We started having friendly conversations which lasted for 30 seconds with both of us staring at each other. I turned a blind eye to all the things I did not like about them. Fact is I liked having them around.

Anyways this friendship continued for sometime until the day I realized the mess they were making in MY HOUSE. Irritation, anger, frustration, annoyance and slowly resentment started creeping in. I hated to see them anywhere near my house and started to think of ways to ensure that they are not a part of my life. And then one day I shooed them all away. At every chance I got I shooed them away. No matter how many times they tried to come back. I shooed them all away.

I miss them now but I don’t know where to begin. How do I say lets start afresh? You don’t mess and I won’t yell. But my guilt doesn’t permit me to go beyond wishful thinking. My pride doesn’t let me put out that small plate of food and water which says you are still welcome. So at the end of it all I simply give up. I let go.
Then one fine day I hear them again at my balcony. At first I don’t want to show how happy I am so I stay inside. Then I slowly step outside. And there, in a small little gap between two walls, I see the nest. Their home in my home. They all finally came back. And as for mess that they will definitely bring in, I just have to assume that its not by choice.I wish I could do the same with some of my other friends.